DEFINITION: ONE WHO PRETENDS TO BE A FRIEND BUT IS ACTUALLY AN ENEMY
Webster's dictionary: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/frenemy)
I thought this was interesting and deserved its own post because of the adverse health affects toxic friendships can cause in an individual.
There was a new study released by UCLA earlier this month that states that toxic friends can actually be bad for your health: "with negative social experiences had a higher level of inflammatory proteins that can lead to heart disease, depression, and cancer when compared to than those who noted fewer negative experiences."
I guess the old saying "keep your friends close and enemies closer" can be considered outdated and bad for you. ..
For example, if you find that you are always in an bad mood when you are around this person, or once you do hang out with the person you feel emotionally drained, chances are you are in a toxic friendship.
See, toxic friendships are all about unequality in the relationship. If one person is giving more than the other it is not a mutually satisfying friendship. It is unequal and unfair.
Another example: the person that constantly talks about herself/himself, but when it comes time for you to discuss your situation, the other person doesn't want to listen or you get the sense that they would rather not be there. Sometimes, the toxic friend will wait until you are out of your bad situation or until it has passed, and then show up again. Talk about a "friend in need." Toxic.
Maybe you've come across the type of person that always expects you to be happy for him/her but when you have some good news, you find that this specific person is unable to be happy for you and share in your good fortune and joy. A friend who is only happy when you are unsuccessful in life is no friend at all. More like a frenemy.
What about the friend that is sort of there for you initially but then when you make plans to hang out with this friend, he/she invites other people too--even though it was just supposed to be you two. Of course, these types of frenemies are quick to defend themselves and attack you if you try to bring up how you feel or try to talk to him/her about what is bothering you. That is a clear sign that this person is no friend. It's unfortunate and sad because while my parents warned me that some friends may turn their backs on me, I never thought it would actually happen!
Unfortunately, unless you are an excellent judge of character, there is really no way to know who is a frenemy and who isn't right off the bat. If you find yourself in one the it is possible that initially the friendship may have been based on mutual needs, but after some time it just didn't work out. Jealousies can develop and ruin what "friendship" there was in the first place. It is definitely a bitter pill to swallow but, you can take solace in the fact that a lot of people have gone and are going through the same thing.
Also, you will come across those "friends" that call you a bad friend if you call them out on their shit. People don't ever want to admit they're wrong--even if they ARE wrong. It's human nature, but a good friend will always take time out for you if the friendship is important to him/her and talk things out and let you share your side of the story without creating a dramatic scene. In my opinion, these are the worst kind of frenemies anyone can have.
The way I see it, it is better to keep the people that make you feel like shit as far away as possible from you. There's no point in feeling like crap to maintain a relationship that gives nothing back to you in return and keeps demanding more from you instead.
Remember: keep your head up, keep smiling, and pick and choose your friends carefully! Cut your losses quicker next time.
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